Shriek Show / Anamorphic Widescreen (1.85:1) / Color / 1 disc / 90 minutes

Occasionally I watch a film so bad that I feel like it’s my duty to warn others about it. BAD INCLINATION (2003) is one such film.

I recently shared a stack of unopened DVDs with a group of friends, encouraging them to take a few of them home to watch. After they sifted through the wares I had to offer, one of my pals handed BAD INCLINATION back to me and said, “That’s going to be bad.”

I glanced at the early-90s style “Cinemax Late-Nite” photography and graphics on the front and tried to remain optimistic. “I like stuff like this,” I said. “It’s supposed to be a modern giallo.”

Indeed, the packaging promised an “attempt to recreate the films of the genre, like the ones made by Lucio Fulci and Lamberto Bava,” and the montage of photos on the back looked sleazy in a choice way: Bloody weapons, lesbian scenes, and perhaps some nudity. Gialli are generally atmospheric and stylish, full of murdered models, fashion-conscious playboys, fast cars and faster women. I found none of the above in BAD INCLINATION, even after two brutal viewings.

Directed by Pierfrancesco Campanella (who’s done nary a thing before or after this film), BAD INCLINATION stars transsexual Eva Robin’s (Argento’s TENEBRE) as washed-up entertainer Nichole, Florinda Bolkan (Fulci’s A LIZARD IN A WOMAN’S SKIN) as Mirta, a scheming painter and con-artist, and Franco Nero (DIEHARD 2, and the DJANGO westerns) as a street-corner media critic. Elisabetta Rocchetti plays Donatella, a drug addict and prostitute that becomes a puppet for Bolkan’s character. Similarly, Elisabetta Cavallotti plays Otilia, Nichole’s lesbian ex-lover and manager.

The majority of these characters, along with a sexy female investigator, a crabby magistrate, and a sketchy architect, all live in the same condominium building in Rome. The media goes nuts and the city is gripped in fear after a women is murdered in the very same building, apparently by a disturbed individual armed with a large metal set square — sort of a triangular ruler.

Artist Mirta is inspired by the murder and uses its brutality in her work to garner media attention for herself. Hiring money-hungry drifter Donatella, she arranges the set square slashing death of her nosy maid, who has discovered Mirta’s involvement in a fake art racket.

Meanwhile, Otilia drums up some media attention for Nichole by placing fake death threats on the faded celebrity’s answering machine. She also begins an S&M relationship with the condo’s newest resident, the architect and suspected set square killer, Premio, who police believe paid the first victim for sex.

If the plot sounds confusing, that’s because it is. We have to keep track of a dozen characters, and none of them are compelling enough to make us give a damn about them. The film simply doesn’t look good either. Evidently shot on video, BAD INCLINATION resembles a low-budget television program or a student film. All the characters need make-up in a bad way; the editing and photography is weak; and the score’s soft-core porn motifs are anachronistic.

Campanella apparently intended the film to be a commentary on the media and the public’s fascination with violence. The film’s most interesting dynamic is based on the two scheming women, Nichole and Mirta, who stage killings in their homes to raise their public profiles.

Men in BAD INCLINATION take the back seat to the ladies, and are generally represented as weak or ignorant. The local magistrate doesn’t heed the correct advice of his female investigator and dismisses her suggestions. Similarly, suspected killer Premio is described by a prostitute as being “childish.” When he makes love to Otilia, he encourages her to maim him with her heels, and tie him up in a submissive position.

Nods to the masters of giallo are evident. The first attack features some Argento-inspired abdominal stabs and shattered glass histrionics. Campanella’s link to Argento comes via Eva Robin’s, who was featured in 1982’s TENEBRE during a crucial dream sequence. There are the classic Bava-inspired weapon-in-hand shots (and what an unusual weapon; who would have ever thought a ruler would be a good murder weapon?) and gratuitous nudity and perversion, compliments of say, Sergio Martino.

It’s hard to say where BAD INCLINATION went wrong. It feels like several unconnected stories kludged together into one big mess. Even as the film ends, the mystery continues, making the entire previous 90 minutes ultimately meaningless.

The DVD has some unexpected bonus features including a making-of featurette, interviews with the director and key actresses, a trailer and photo gallery. The film is clumsily overdubbed in English.

BAD INCLINATION gets one star. Stay away from it.