Shock-O-Rama / Anamorphic Widescreen (1.85:1) / Color / 1 disc / 90 minutes

Homophobic rednecks, foul language, and jokes about a certain portion of the male anatomy abound in CREATURE FROM THE HILLBILLY LAGOON, but if you can get through the first painful 80 minutes, you’ll eventually be rewarded with an ending that isn’t half bad.

CREATURE FROM THE HILLBILLY LAGOON, originally known as SEEPAGE! when it was released in 2005, is a difficult film to review fairly. On the surface, it’s exactly what you would expect from a group of young, smart-ass filmmakers armed with a couple cheap digital video cameras. The plot is weak and predictable (The title alone tells you all you need to know), the stunted actors vacillate between wooden performances and over-the-top high school class play histrionics, and the budget is so low the entire film may have been funded by the panhandler outside the Five Points Starbucks.

On the other hand, the picture is competently shot and edited. It’s lit well in most places, the scenes are blocked out with care, and the plot, though derivative, pays homage to classics of the genre. It’s obvious director/writer/editor Richard Griffin (He recently completed a new version of THE DUNWITCH HORROR) has done his homework and knows how to make a decent picture, so I have to regard CREATURE as something of an anomaly. (Keep in mind, I haven’t seen a major, big-budget motion picture in weeks now, so what I consider good may be another man’s garbage.)

Think of CREATURE as a throwback to the films of say, Herschell Gordon Lewis. Although honestly, it had more in common with maybe, the man-becomes-jellyfish thriller STING OF DEATH (1965), the man-becomes-snake shocker, SSSSSS! (1973), and the Italian fish-sex masterpiece, PLANKTON aka, CREATURES FROM THE ABYSS (1994). At any rate, if you’ve seen those, there isn’t much reason to see CREATURE, unless you just really love penis jokes.

Anyway, CREATURE begins with two hillbillies, Bubba and Cooter, dumping toxic waste into a river in the beautiful Connecticut back country. “It’s just shit left over from when they were trying to make tomatoes that glow in the dark, or tobacco that smokes itself,” Bubba tells his dubious companion. As THE BEING (and numerous other films) taught us, toxic waste is evil stuff, and the axiom holds true here, as we soon learn a humanoid fish-monster is terrorizing residents of the area.

A group of what appear to be media arts students/film school geeks trying to pass for biologists, are dispatched to the lagoon to study toxic effects on the water and it doesn’t take long before one of them (The goofy, horny one) gets bitten by something underwater.

Meanwhile, redneck fishermen Jeb and George share a tender moment during stargazing, then realize they are both gay and homophobic. Before this plot point gets resolved, they become bait for the fish-monster. Back in the woods, the research team notices their bitten comrade has developed gills, webbed hands and a “fish dick.” However, they don’t notice that their wheelchair-bound, pot-smoking professor has been accidentally shot to death at the edge of the forest by the inept law enforcement. “You bagged a cripple,” Bobby-Sue tells her father, the local sheriff.

The film really veers when it’s revealed a member of the college research team is a former employee of the firm responsible for the toxic waste. To eradicate any evidence of genetic wrongdoing, the firm sends in a crew of “cleaners” to murder everyone. We eventually discover the mastermind responsible for the toxic waste is a woman hell-bent on creating a race of remote-controlled fish-men to mate with human females.

I found myself chuckling during the film’s surprisingly satisfying final act and conclusion. Boobies, a decapitation, AND a man in a fish suit? Yes!

CREATURE FROM THE HILLBILLY LAGOON was shot on video and it suffers for it. Film snobs will likely turn up their nose at any production shot on video. The reality is, digital video cameras and editing software packages are cheap and the technology is available to everyone, enabling directors to make movies at a fraction of the cost of traditional film projects. We might as well get used to the look of video. If video was good enough for Danny Boyle (28 DAYS LATER), then it’s good enough for me. Still, the video in CREATURE looked shoddy. Technical errors in regards to focus, white balance and exposure abound.

What can be said of the acting? Not much. It’s not good. It doesn’t need to be. The real problem is with the script, which attempts to generate humor by employing as many expletives as possible. This quickly grows tiresome. The rednecks/inbreeds aren’t menacing enough to be frightening, and the Fish Man is just a guy with a rubber mask and gloves. A lot of the action takes place off-screen or via jarring comic book storyboards that pop onscreen periodically. It’s kind of annoying, but at the same time, an innovative way to save money.

This flick won’t be winning any awards for its soundtrack. A lot of the tunes sound canned and just don’t work for certain scenes. However the few original songs, including the brilliant “All I Need is Beer (and Pussy)” featured in the ending scene, seem to be appropriate.

The DVD presentation from Shock-O-Rama includes a reel of trailers from current and upcoming projects, some of which look particularly interesting (CHANTAL starring occasional soft-core actress Misty Mundae, looks sleazy beyond belief!). Special features include some deleted scenes, namely, the film’s original intro (Bubba breaks the fourth wall and “hosts” the picture).

Look, this isn’t SUSPIRIA folks. That doesn’t mean you can’t drink some liquor, watch it, and maybe giggle along. Maybe I’m wrong, but I think CREATURE FROM THE HILLBILLY LAGOON is worth at least 2.5 stars!