We ARE watching an early-1980s slasher right? Nearly an hour into THE BURNING, and the body count hasn’t even started. But when the excrement finally hits the oscillating ventilator, it’s well worth the wait.

How’s this for a fun double feature? A high school student sleeps her way to the top of the faculty, becomes an assassin and goes on a killing spree. Still intrigued? How about a busload of schoolgirls on a road trip straight to hell?

If you were only to judge a movie by its cover art, then Pete Walker’s DIE SCREAMING MARIANNE would be one hell of a picture. The title alone could sell this film — then there’s that stark black and white image of the supine Susan George go-go dancing against a blood red background. Damn.

Before Italian director/writer Lucio Fulci made a name for himself in low-budget (but compelling) early-80s zombie sleaze, he reinvented the giallo genre with his influential and surprisingly well-made LIZARD IN A WOMAN’S SKIN.

It would be hard to make a film as lurid as LOVE ME DEADLY, but what’s stranger is that this nasty little tale of necrophilia was made back in 1973 with a cast of known celebrities.

Somewhere between the Satanic orgy and the scene where Warren Oates beats a rattlesnake to death with a ski pole, you realize you’re watching one of the finest drive-in movies ever made. RACE WITH THE DEVIL is that rare combination of horror, action, violence, paranoia and 1970s camp.

Although it’s just slightly more shameful than anything you’re likely to see on the Food Network, Jess Franco’s CANNIBALS, a.k.a. MONDO CANNIBALE, a.k.a. WHITE CANNIBAL QUEEN, is still a rather weak sauce.

Well, I never saw it coming: That scene in THE BIG DOLL HOUSE when top-billed Pam Grier’s voluminous character gets shanked to death by her junkie girlfriend. It was about the only unexpected moment in a movie that utterly defined the women-in-prison genre of exploitation.