We ARE watching an early-1980s slasher right? Nearly an hour into THE BURNING, and the body count hasn’t even started. But when the excrement finally hits the oscillating ventilator, it’s well worth the wait.

Although it’s just slightly more shameful than anything you’re likely to see on the Food Network, Jess Franco’s CANNIBALS, a.k.a. MONDO CANNIBALE, a.k.a. WHITE CANNIBAL QUEEN, is still a rather weak sauce.

Well, I never saw it coming: That scene in THE BIG DOLL HOUSE when top-billed Pam Grier’s voluminous character gets shanked to death by her junkie girlfriend. It was about the only unexpected moment in a movie that utterly defined the women-in-prison genre of exploitation.

So after a lengthy and unexcused absence from writing reviews for Shameful Cinema I’m back with a few comments on DEATH WISH 3, a flick that’s been laying unopened in its Netflix envelope for weeks - much to the chagrin of my thrifty wife (Just watch the damn thing and send it back, we’re wasting money!)

If you are traveling through the South and happen to roll into a town where the patrons are waving Confederate battle flags and the children brandish miniature nooses like party favors, then you’d best turn your hooptie around and lay heavy onto the speeder.

TENEMENT is a fairly nifty urban warfare flick, that is if you have the stomach to endure some fairly sick stuff. It’s a skanky, sordid piece of celluloid. Consequently, it’s probably director Roberta Findlay’s best work of the 80s.

We last left Paul Kersey in Chicago looking down the barrel of his finger at a gang of hoodlums tormenting an innocent bystander. But he didn’t remain in the Windy City long.

Check your sanity at the door and prepare yourself for “Hallucinogenic Hypnovision” before viewing Ray Dennis Steckler’s masterwork, THE INCREDIBLY STRANGE CREATURES WHO STOPPED LIVING AND BECAME MIXED-UP ZOMBIES!!?